We live in a society where problems have to be fixed. If someone expresses a frustration, someone else feels compelled to share a solution. We want a utopia where nothing goes wrong and everything works out like the happy ending of a love story.
In the world of ‘special needs’ parenting, there is often no true solution. There is no utopia. You figure out one thing only to have another problem arise. The “solutions” are often us just piecing together something, hoping it will work. It’s spending a bunch of money on things that the rest of society spends often half the price on its having to special order chairs, toothbrushes, clothes, and shoes just so our children can have what they need .
Until you are on the other end of things, it’s hard to understand how the “fix it” comments might be hurtful. You see, your solution is likely one we’ve already tried. Often times, we’ve already pieced together a million other things to find a solution to our problem because no one has already created a solution.
When we express frustration that something our disabled child desperately needs isn’t readily available, we aren’t looking for another “piece together” approach. We are expressing how tired we are to have to fight for the basic needs of our child. We are trying to educate others of the lack of resources that special needs parents often find. We shouldn’t have to scrounge around for things to just “make it work”. I’d really like to see a world that truly works in favor of the disabled community.
In order to fix what’s broken, we have to start truly listening to those in the special needs community. We have to open our eyes to the lack of equipment, accessibility, and resources there are for people with disabilities. We have to start doing something to help families find resources that are more readily available. We have to stop trying to “fix” the people and start trying to fix the system in place.
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