When I was a little girl, I never saw my parents argue. I never saw my mom get upset, and I only recall my dad losing his temper once. I always thought they had it all together and never argued and while that’s not always a bad thing, I realize in my adulthood that it's not always healthy to never show your kids your weaknesses.
That's no fault of my parents. Society says we have to always keep it together. you can't show weakness. People with mental health issues are looked down upon.
Instead of creating a New Year’s resolution that I will likely quit hallways through January, I’m making my mental health a priority in 2024. I’ve had a lot of trauma, grief, and stress in 2023. There is no sugar coating it and I’m breaking the stigma that moms have to do it all and keep it together and that dads can’t show weakness and have to be the backbone of the family. Much like my van, I am low on fuel and require maintenance.
My kids need to know it’s okay to ask for help. They need to understand that they can’t control everything. They need to see that mom and dad argue sometimes, and they need to learn how we work through the struggles and come together again. My kids need to know that it’s okay to make mistakes and it’s okay to be sad, angry, upset, nervous, etc. They need to see how their mom and dad cope and work through these emotions so they know how to when they feel this way.
I don’t want my kids growing up thinking everything is perfect because they never see their mom or dad cry or be upset. I don’t want my kids thinking they have to make good grades, be in all the sports, and keep it all together in order to be popular or well liked. I want my kids to be the ones who make mistakes and get messy, but have fun doing it. I want my kids to celebrate the happy times, but also let their guards down to sit in those uncomfortable feelings every once in a while.
Here’s to an imperfect, messy 2024 full of joy and laughter. ❤️
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